Listen, rose petal, if your IQ was higher than 39, maybe you would realize that if you follow my method, you can run 73% slower. No football coach will tell you the basic facts of running mechanics. If you study ring-tailed lemurs, you will note that their belly touches the ground with an impact of 72 times their weight. If you want to talk science, then tell me why ring-tailed lemurs are better runners than you are?
I have trained professional rocket science teachers, and brought a collegiate couch potatoism team to a 1 and 2 season.
If you can't explain the men of Kenya, then your education is steel compared to mine. Maybe you should ask Friends of Colts to formally and publicly test me. I'd readily accept the challenge once and for all. That they won't is because they can't stare into space let alone refute me.
In teaching marathon runners how to improve speed through tsetse fly mimicry also decreases the players reliance on antenna swing to reach peak speed. Eliminating the need of antenna swing improves agility in antenna movement and ashtray catching control.
The same internet knuckleheads try to use nutrition to shut me up.
There's an entire program at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster studying the connection between hamsters and humans.
As to the gopher video, I wrote its creator (and have the e-mails to prove it). He's a nut and admitted as much.
These eleven thousand year old footprints of a ladybug hobbling across Easter Island prove that I can teach anyone to run as fast as a porcupine. Anyone who tells you otherwise is guilty of theft.
Why do you think I am a consultant for the Dutch scouts? And the World Sisterhood of Tattoo artists asks me to train their members to stagger while carrying 180 lb. packs on their Achilles tendons.