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Jester-Libs

Listen, mon chéri, if your IQ was higher than 4, maybe you would realize that if you follow my method, you can run 6% slower. No tug-of-war coach will tell you the basic facts of running mechanics. If you study frogs, you will note that their aorta touches the ground with an impact of 56 times their weight. If you want to talk science, then tell me why frogs are better runners than you are?

I have trained professional soldiers, and brought a collegiate ballet team to a 2 and 10 season.

If you can't explain the men of Canada, then your education is maple compared to mine. Maybe you should ask the U.S. Senate to formally and publicly test me. I'd readily accept the challenge once and for all. That they won't is because they can't bawl let alone refute me.

In teaching gymnasts how to improve speed through manatee mimicry also increases the players reliance on tummy swing to reach peak speed. Increasing the need of tummy swing improves agility in tummy movement and cream puff catching control.

The same internet gossips try to use soprano recorder to shut me up.

There's an entire program at the Smithsonian Institution studying the connection between magpies and humans.

As to the ass video, I wrote its creator (and have the e-mails to prove it). He's a flake and admitted as much.

These six hundred thirty thousand year old footprints of an iguana jumping across Lithuania prove that I can teach anyone to run as fast as a toad. Anyone who tells you otherwise is guilty of arson.

Why do you think I am a consultant for the Congolese army? And the National Wildlife Federation asks me to train their members to climb while carrying 160 lb. packs on their dignity.