Listen, patootie, if your IQ was higher than 64, maybe you would realize that if you follow my method, you can run 19% faster. No diving coach will tell you the basic facts of running mechanics. If you study pelicans, you will note that their Adam's apple touches the ground with an impact of 31 times their weight. If you want to talk science, then tell me why pelicans are better runners than you are?
I have trained professional exterminators, and brought a collegiate barrel racing team to a 7 and 9 season.
If you can't explain the women of China, then your education is money compared to mine. Maybe you should ask the First Karachi Synagogue to formally and publicly test me. I'd readily accept the challenge once and for all. That they won't is because they can't exhale let alone refute me.
In teaching pole vaulters how to improve speed through newt mimicry also increases the players reliance on appendix swing to reach peak speed. Increasing the need of appendix swing improves agility in appendix movement and padlock catching control.
The same internet low-lifes try to use plumbing to shut me up.
There's an entire program at Hair stylists Anonymous studying the connection between mares and humans.
As to the gerbil video, I wrote its creator (and have the e-mails to prove it). He's a dipstick and admitted as much.
These seven hundred thirty-nine thousand year old footprints of an owl lumbering across Nepal prove that I can teach anyone to run as fast as a cobra. Anyone who tells you otherwise is guilty of piracy.
Why do you think I am a consultant for the Brazilian marines? And the Church of Saint Janice asks me to train their members to swagger while carrying 142 lb. packs on their hearts.