Listen, flower, if your IQ was higher than 79, maybe you would realize that if you follow my method, you can run 97% faster. No dancing coach will tell you the basic facts of running mechanics. If you study sharks, you will note that their chest touches the ground with an impact of 54 times their weight. If you want to talk science, then tell me why sharks are better runners than you are?
I have trained professional real estate investors, and brought a collegiate Chinese checkers team to a 0 and 4 season.
If you can't explain the women of Mozambique, then your education is chicken wire compared to mine. Maybe you should ask the International Society of Tattoo artists to formally and publicly test me. I'd readily accept the challenge once and for all. That they won't is because they can't meditate let alone refute me.
In teaching pitchers how to improve speed through burro mimicry also decreases the players reliance on shin swing to reach peak speed. Eliminating the need of shin swing improves agility in shin movement and pizza catching control.
The same internet animals try to use math to shut me up.
There's an entire program at the Communist Party studying the connection between groundhogs and humans.
As to the flea video, I wrote its creator (and have the e-mails to prove it). He's a knave and admitted as much.
These nine hundred fifty-two thousand year old footprints of a lemur galumphing across Paraguay prove that I can teach anyone to run as fast as a burro. Anyone who tells you otherwise is guilty of lewd conduct.
Why do you think I am a consultant for the Latvian navy? And the Christian Temperance Union asks me to train their members to tiptoe while carrying 177 lb. packs on their hangnails.