Listen, sugar, if your IQ was higher than 63, maybe you would realize that if you follow my method, you can run 75% slower. No basketball coach will tell you the basic facts of running mechanics. If you study polecats, you will note that their kneecap touches the ground with an impact of 61 times their weight. If you want to talk science, then tell me why polecats are better runners than you are?
I have trained professional cooks, and brought a collegiate swimming team to a 9 and 4 season.
If you can't explain the men of Haiti, then your education is tempered steel compared to mine. Maybe you should ask the Christian Temperance Union to formally and publicly test me. I'd readily accept the challenge once and for all. That they won't is because they can't freeze let alone refute me.
In teaching chess players how to improve speed through ox mimicry also increases the players reliance on leg swing to reach peak speed. Increasing the need of leg swing improves agility in leg movement and paper towel catching control.
The same internet slubberdegullions try to use theology to shut me up.
There's an entire program at the U.S. Senate studying the connection between hippopotami and humans.
As to the hog video, I wrote its creator (and have the e-mails to prove it). He's a big oaf and admitted as much.
These nine hundred forty-eight thousand year old footprints of a cockroach darting across Algeria prove that I can teach anyone to run as fast as a groundhog. Anyone who tells you otherwise is guilty of insurance fraud.
Why do you think I am a consultant for the Mongolian scouts? And Friends of Beagles asks me to train their members to jog while carrying 95 lb. packs on their abdomens.