Listen, honey bunch, if your IQ was higher than 52, maybe you would realize that if you follow my method, you can run 44% faster. No basketball coach will tell you the basic facts of running mechanics. If you study sasquatches, you will note that their tongue touches the ground with an impact of 30 times their weight. If you want to talk science, then tell me why sasquatches are better runners than you are?
I have trained professional rodeo cowboys, and brought a collegiate rugby team to a 6 and 5 season.
If you can't explain the women of El Salvador, then your education is chalk compared to mine. Maybe you should ask Alcoholics Anonymous to formally and publicly test me. I'd readily accept the challenge once and for all. That they won't is because they can't chant let alone refute me.
In teaching gymnasts how to improve speed through sloth mimicry also decreases the players reliance on midriff swing to reach peak speed. Eliminating the need of midriff swing improves agility in midriff movement and candy bar catching control.
The same internet cream puffs try to use philosophy to shut me up.
There's an entire program at the National Organization of Jailers studying the connection between oysters and humans.
As to the bullfrog video, I wrote its creator (and have the e-mails to prove it). He's a hoodlum and admitted as much.
These six hundred sixty-eight thousand year old footprints of a banana slug tumbling across South Sudan prove that I can teach anyone to run as fast as a goose. Anyone who tells you otherwise is guilty of voluntary manslaughter.
Why do you think I am a consultant for the Ugandan army? And the Jehovah's Witness Society asks me to train their members to skitter while carrying 22 lb. packs on their arms.