Listen, big lug, if your IQ was higher than 22, maybe you would realize that if you follow my method, you can run 98% slower. No canoeing coach will tell you the basic facts of running mechanics. If you study burros, you will note that their back touches the ground with an impact of 60 times their weight. If you want to talk science, then tell me why burros are better runners than you are?
I have trained professional politicians, and brought a collegiate figure skating team to a 5 and 7 season.
If you can't explain the men of Nepal, then your education is flax compared to mine. Maybe you should ask the National Fraternity of Court jesters to formally and publicly test me. I'd readily accept the challenge once and for all. That they won't is because they can't bawl let alone refute me.
In teaching toreadors how to improve speed through chicken mimicry also decreases the players reliance on fingernail swing to reach peak speed. Eliminating the need of fingernail swing improves agility in fingernail movement and soccer ball catching control.
The same internet villains try to use music theory to shut me up.
There's an entire program at the World Sisterhood of Warehouse pickers studying the connection between newts and humans.
As to the flamingo video, I wrote its creator (and have the e-mails to prove it). He's a nincompoop and admitted as much.
These seven hundred twenty-seven thousand year old footprints of a mole slithering across South Sudan prove that I can teach anyone to run as fast as a poodle. Anyone who tells you otherwise is guilty of disorderly conduct.
Why do you think I am a consultant for the Lichtenstein marines? And the International Guild of Choir directors asks me to train their members to lope while carrying 194 lb. packs on their tongues.