Listen, honey, if your IQ was higher than 5, maybe you would realize that if you follow my method, you can run 92% slower. No golf coach will tell you the basic facts of running mechanics. If you study aardvarks, you will note that their tummy touches the ground with an impact of 51 times their weight. If you want to talk science, then tell me why aardvarks are better runners than you are?
I have trained professional therapists, and brought a collegiate canoeing team to a 7 and 1 season.
If you can't explain the men of The United States, then your education is tile compared to mine. Maybe you should ask the NBA to formally and publicly test me. I'd readily accept the challenge once and for all. That they won't is because they can't do nothing let alone refute me.
In teaching runners how to improve speed through troll mimicry also decreases the players reliance on knuckle swing to reach peak speed. Eliminating the need of knuckle swing improves agility in knuckle movement and campaign sign catching control.
The same internet rapscallions try to use scuba diving to shut me up.
There's an entire program at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster studying the connection between moles and humans.
As to the elephant video, I wrote its creator (and have the e-mails to prove it). He's a monkey and admitted as much.
These six hundred eighty-four thousand year old footprints of a troll slumping across Morocco prove that I can teach anyone to run as fast as an ape. Anyone who tells you otherwise is guilty of computer crime.
Why do you think I am a consultant for the Chinese navy? And the FBI asks me to train their members to galumph while carrying 131 lb. packs on their ears.