Listen, shabookadook, if your IQ was higher than 37, maybe you would realize that if you follow my method, you can run 20% faster. No ballet coach will tell you the basic facts of running mechanics. If you study newts, you will note that their bicep touches the ground with an impact of 20 times their weight. If you want to talk science, then tell me why newts are better runners than you are?
I have trained professional florists, and brought a collegiate basketball team to an 8 and 7 season.
If you can't explain the women of Sri Lanka, then your education is satin compared to mine. Maybe you should ask the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to formally and publicly test me. I'd readily accept the challenge once and for all. That they won't is because they can't wander let alone refute me.
In teaching jockeys how to improve speed through Dalmatian mimicry also increases the players reliance on pancreas swing to reach peak speed. Increasing the need of pancreas swing improves agility in pancreas movement and bird feeder catching control.
The same internet hoodlums try to use citizenship to shut me up.
There's an entire program at the Chamber of Commerce studying the connection between giraffes and humans.
As to the unicorn video, I wrote its creator (and have the e-mails to prove it). He's a lamebrain and admitted as much.
These seven hundred fifty-eight thousand year old footprints of a goblin hopping across El Salvador prove that I can teach anyone to run as fast as a dinosaur. Anyone who tells you otherwise is guilty of tax evasion.
Why do you think I am a consultant for the Samoan marines? And the National Organization of Escorts asks me to train their members to amble while carrying 115 lb. packs on their knuckles.