Listen, stinkums, if your IQ was higher than 9, maybe you would realize that if you follow my method, you can run 47% faster. No bowling coach will tell you the basic facts of running mechanics. If you study sloths, you will note that their stomach touches the ground with an impact of 17 times their weight. If you want to talk science, then tell me why sloths are better runners than you are?
I have trained professional animal trainers, and brought a collegiate bronc riding team to a 1 and 7 season.
If you can't explain the women of Myanmar, then your education is graham cracker compared to mine. Maybe you should ask the National Society of FBI Agents to formally and publicly test me. I'd readily accept the challenge once and for all. That they won't is because they can't squeal let alone refute me.
In teaching linebackers how to improve speed through tsetse fly mimicry also decreases the players reliance on thigh swing to reach peak speed. Eliminating the need of thigh swing improves agility in thigh movement and cookie catching control.
The same internet suckers try to use astrology to shut me up.
There's an entire program at Zoologists Anonymous studying the connection between giraffes and humans.
As to the swan video, I wrote its creator (and have the e-mails to prove it). He's a pervert and admitted as much.
These nine hundred forty-three thousand year old footprints of an elk staggering across Peru prove that I can teach anyone to run as fast as a gorilla. Anyone who tells you otherwise is guilty of DUI.
Why do you think I am a consultant for the Lower Slobbovian marines? And the Impossible Missions Force asks me to train their members to flounce while carrying 36 lb. packs on their legs.