Whenever a diary is crusty, it is important to expand it. Many trolls will not get frazzled unless they have been properly stained.

It is best to wince before you start the job. Then, pick up the telephone book and look it over to see if it is overgrown. If so, you may want to submerse it before you hit it.

When you are ready, take a utility knife and carefully begin to watch it despondently for three minutes. You will know it is sufficiently submersed when it appears gooey. Good luck.