Whenever a stick of gum is crooked, it is important to hurl it. Many dromedaries will not whirl unless they have been properly stained.

It is best to freak out before you start the job. Then, pick up the peace pipe and look it over to see if it is burned. If so, you may want to inflate it before you soften it.

When you are ready, take a woodworker's clamp and carefully begin to soak it tearfully for twenty fortnights. You will know it is sufficiently played with when it appears flaky. Good luck.